Dream Casting: A Christmas Carol

God bless us, everyone.

Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol is an annual holiday favorite in our house. Every year, we seek it out in a multitude of ways, from stage musicals to film adaptations to one-man shows. But despite the countless versions of the Scrooge tale, we don't think any one version has nailed it completely.

As a result, here we are to cast our perfect film adaptation.

Our qualifications? The Little Shop of Horrors piece we wrote six months ago. 

Paul Giamatti as Ebenezer Scrooge

Taylor: Truthfully, I initially wanted Brian Cox, but we pretty quickly realized that post-Succession Cox was just too difficult to cast around. The supporting cast is now all the better because we have Paul Giamatti in this role. His dual ability of being both harsh and soft is on full display in The Holdovers, and I think this will be the caricature extension of that tremendous work.

Patrick: Between The Holdovers and Fred Claus (and All Is Bright?), Giamatti is becoming a Christmas icon. Scrooge needs to be a dogged-character actor to truly be believable and that's what he does best. 

Jeffrey Wright as The Narrator

Patrick: One of the things that bugs me about most renditions of A Christmas Carol is the fact that we lose Dickens's writing! My favorite versions have some kind of narrator, thus our inclusion here. Someone has to say "Marley was dead: to begin with," or it's not A Christmas Carol! I want him to appear as various characters in various scenes, like maybe a solicitor in Scrooge's counting-house or maybe even Mr. Fezziwig. I want him to do the thing he does for Wes Anderson here. 

Taylor: I love Jeffrey Wright, and I think he’s a perfect fit. His voice is commanding, but I also think he has the range to also fill that same voice with amazing wonder.

Forest Whitaker as Jacob Marley

Taylor: This was a very hard choice. Marley was one of the last pieces of this puzzle. What do you do with a ghost? How do you find someone who is frightening, angry and spiteful, yet in their soul, endlessly benevolent? It’s tough, but ultimately I think Whitaker has a good chance at being a thoughtful foil to Giamatti.

Patrick: My direction? "Forest, do the same thing you did in Rogue One!"

Stephanie Hsu, Colman Domingo, and Doug Jones as The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future

Taylor: What a fun bunch! I instantly thought of Stephanie Hsu when thinking of potential Pasts. To me, Past is the anchor of this story. If your Past is too silly, Scrooge will never actually connect. If they’re too stern, Scrooge will be on the defense. You need someone undeniably charming, someone oozing with charisma and kindness, to begin to melt Scrooge’s cold heart. To me, that is Hsu. Colman Domingo will be such a fun, jubilant, boisterous Present. I can see the gold leaf in his beard now! As for Doug Jones, what can I say? Andy Serkis was booked!

Patrick: Taylor is right: Stephanie will find the fun and Colman will find the energy - even if he isn’t nearly rotund enough. Doug Jones was the final piece here because, if we're being honest, The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come should really just be a Grim Reaper-type mo-cap. But why not put one of our best makeup actors under a ton of makeup?

Daniel Radcliffe, Keira Knightley, and Quinn Titcomb as Bob, Martha, and Tiny Tim Cratchit

Patrick: Bob Cratchit needs to be, above all, damn cute. You have to love him before you love his family, so you can love his family. Dan obviously brings a notable persona into his first moments on screen. As for Keira, let's give her something good to do! She can do it! Martha is such an underrated (and dramatically important) role. 

Taylor: You know how I said Marley was one of the hardest to cast? He was second to the Cratchit family, but I knew from the jump that I wanted to see Quinn Titcomb as Tiny Tim. I was lucky enough to see her perform in Fun Home at D.C.’s Studio Theatre and have never felt so sure about a young actor bound for stardom. She is sensationally captivating, and I think this could give her a rich opportunity to make a mark for herself. We could have star-studded the family to death (not to say Daniel and Keira aren’t stars, but to give context, Jacob Elordi was in the running…) but we wanted them to feel like a real family. You can’t just call people husband and wife and insist the chemistry stem from there, you need people who just get it. To me, as Dan has now entered fatherhood, he is just DAD now (and Lindsay Mendez agrees!). Keira is so unbelievably sweet and charming, and also has the chops to bring it all home in some tearful scenes with Future.

Marcello Hernandez as Fred

Taylor: Patrick said, “We need some SNL representation!” and I said, half-joking, “Marcello Hernandez as Fred?” to which he replied, “YES! EXACTLY!” And upon further reflection, that was an incredible choice on my part. Clearly it came to me subliminally seriously. I think Marcello would, with ease, get to the heart of this optimistic character.

Patrick: When Scrooge visits his nephew's home for Christmas dinner, it melts my heart. Fred is so darn likable and you want that warmth in Scrooge's life. They will be so great together!

Cailee Spaeny as Belle and Logan Miller as Young Scrooge

Taylor: Like 99% of America, I haven’t stopped thinking about Cailee since seeing Priscilla. I mean, come on! What a vision! While I don’t want to diminish her tremendous, layered, and nuanced performance in that film, she, on a separate note, screams ingénue to me and would eat this up. You may be asking yourself, “Who is Logan Miller?” and to that I say, “Have you never seen auteur Cooper Raiff’s debut film Shithouse?” This choice came to me in a vision. I was about five Chick-fil-A chicken minis deep on a Saturday morning, making myself crazy thinking about who could play young Giamatti, and suddenly he just came to me. To be honest, I’m shocked I’m writing this. I was certain Patrick would veto this pick, but to my surprise - he totally got the vision! This is one of those if you know, you know moments and I’m sorry if that’s cheap but it’s true. So, if you haven’t seen Shithouse, go find it and watch it. If that is your sole takeaway from this article, I am fully at peace with that.

Patrick: These are two great picks to round out the supporting cast. And yes, this is what we talk about over breakfast.

Jacob Elordi, we’ll have our people call your people next time.

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