Dream Casting: Little Shop of Horrors

Downtown, that's your home address.

You may have heard of the Little Shop of Horrors film remake (that would later be canned) starring Taron Egerton, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, and Billy Porter, but as self-proclaimed superfans of the franchise, we couldn't help but get to thinking about our own dream cast. If Hollywood wasn't thrilled with how that particular cast was shaping up, then consider this our formal proposal for the greatest Little Shop remake of all time. Casting agents, you can feel free to email us any time at featurepresentationvideo@gmail.com to iron out the details of our cut. 

Ben Schwartz as Seymour

Taylor: I absolutely adore Ben Schwartz. I may just be one of his biggest fans of all time. Everything he does manages to be fun and hysterical, but still grounded. I think all of these strengths will make him the perfect Seymour Krelborn. With this cast, I think it's clear we will be leaning into the larger-than-life and silly components of the show and Parks and Rec's Jean Ralphio is the only thing I need on his resume to prove his skillset when it comes to this movie.

Patrick: Can he sing? Who knows! Is he a little too old when paired with his leading lady? Probably! But damn he is funny. Howard Ashman's book is riddled with layered jokes that many miss but I think he'll mine. 

Sydney Sweeney as Audrey

Taylor: Sydney Sweeney is a total it-girl right now and her very aesthetic screams Audrey to me. I don't know much of what to say about this choice other than it just makes perfect sense to me. Her Euphoria co-star Maude Apatow can even give her some pointers and advice! I think she and Ben Schwartz would be freaking adorable together, especially since he's able to play so much younger.

Patrick: She also threw out the first pitch before a Red Sox game last year. That game, by the way, was a 28-5 clubbing by the Toronto Blue Jays, the worst loss in Red Sox franchise history, obviously pointing to Sydney being bad luck. Wait, why are we hiring her? 

Lizzo as Audrey II

Taylor: I mean...who else would we want to play Audrey II? She would definitely have much more to do than being solely a voice because I need Lizzo all over the screen at all times. There is no doubt in my mind that she would SLAY this and have so much fun. 

Patrick: I love her voice and she will be far and away the most talented musician in the movie, used for this currently exclusively vocal role, (how can we incorporate her flute?) This part is already really fun and silly and I have no doubt she'll bring even more. She'll also perform the "Original Song" at the Oscars and bring the house down. 

Colin Mochrie as Mr. Mushnik

Taylor: As Patrick and I have spoken about a couple of times on Y2Kidz, we had a passionate love affair with Whose Line Is It Anyway? for several months last year. We watched at least two episodes a day and fell in love with Colin Mochrie. He is so much fun and so goofy and naturally embodies everything Mushnik is. 

Patrick: Colin, despite being on the Whose Line? Mount Rushmore, has never really had a great role, so we have to come along and give it to him. He and Ben will improv the hell out of it. I love Ashman's jokes, but you could only leave so much on the cutting room floor when these two get together. 

Austin Butler as Orin

Taylor: You know we had to include Austin Butler somewhere here! But hear us out: this goes beyond our obsession with his performance in Elvis. 1) He can sing, we know this. 2) His ability to do a mix of silly and dead(ly) serious is unmatched. 3) His performance in the Jewish Elvis sketch on SNL (which is maybe one of the best things I've ever seen) makes him PERFECT for all of this track's bit characters. I believe this was actually our way in to this entire idea for recasting a Little Shop movie, because... well of course it was. We never stop thinking about the limitless possibilities of Austin Butler. 

Patrick: I don't want him to just do Elvis forever, but I kinda do. The Elvis inspiration in Orin's song(s) is so obvious, so if he can poke fun at himself on SNL, he can do it here too. 

D’Kaylah Unique Whitley, Tiffany Renee Thompson, and Khadija Sankoh as The Urchins

Taylor: The Urchins, in my opinion, really ground the entire show. They provide so much more than just comedic relief, so while the rest of this is star-studded to the max with actors who may or may not be able to sing and singers who may or may not be able to act, we really wanted people who could objectively do both to round out this cast. For this reason, we went with the urchins that we saw in the Off-Broadway production who were truly incredible in every way. Hysterical, talented singers and rooted performances all around. They are going to ground this production and hopefully have their inevitably prosperous career propelled from this. 

Patrick: Stage actors are the best actors. And we're doing a tiny, downtown, off-Broadway musical, aren't we? We can't lose that spirit. The Urchins, the Greek Chorus/audience surrogate/all-knowing guides, can't be a teeny-bop pop group or something like that, they have to be us. They can't be stars, just future stars. 

---