The Summer of Shyamalan: Old (2021)

Patrick and Taylor have to leave this beach.

Patrick: Taylor, this is your fault!

Taylor: I am so unbelievably sorry. When you explained the premise of this film to me (along with the twist) when it first came out, I thought to myself, "It doesn't sound THAT bad...and it even has Alex Wolff!" I was so so wrong...

Patrick: When I first saw it (opening weekend!), I had to tell you everything immediately. I'm pretty sure I said, "You're never going to watch this movie, so I have to tell you every insane twist and turn." And alas, here we are...

Taylor: It is dumbfoundingly bad. Some M. Night movies are good bad movies, like The Happening, which I find to be infinitely rewatchable despite it not being very good. I can never imagine myself going back to this. I feel like I disliked it more than you did, though. Did you find anything about it redeemable?

Patrick: I don't like to just poo on things, but if I'm being honest...no. It only played worse for me this second time around. Seeing it for the first time with a pretty excitable half-full house was at least intoxicating. Watching it again, knowing it all, it just played like nothingness. I was hoping that, after rewatching all of his earliest and best movies, I would at least grow to appreciate this more. Instead, it played like M. Night's Greatest Hits of Every Mistake He's Ever Made. His...Worst Hits?

Taylor: A Worst Hits is a good way to look at it because I found myself seeing or hearing things that made me think, "That's soooo M. Night" (derogatory). The bizarre POV camera operations, the poorly written dialogue, him being on camera at all despite being a pretty deplorable actor, (I don't get how a director can be a bad actor, can't they see and feel that what they're doing is wrong?) It really does have little to no redemption.

Patrick: When an actor makes the jump to directing, I've always thought they had a leg up on anybody else. They just naturally understand beats, pacing, and rhythm already. What does it say if a director is just a mediocre actor? (I liked him in Signs, but maybe that's because of the behind-the-scenes featurette on the DVD where he explains how seriously he took the role.)

Taylor: It's one thing if you're a bad actor, but never act. I can appreciate people who can look at themselves, know they can't do it, and pursue directing with a laser focus. I also want to make it clear that I'm not anti-fun. I like cameos just as much as the next person! But he's not cameo-ing. He's full-on featuring. When you're a bad actor that can't see you're a bad actor, then I don't believe you can be a very good director..or at least not one that can pull great performances out of actors. Here on FP, we say that Christopher Nolan (my arch nemesis, for anyone new here) is good at finding good people to star in his movies, but the performances often feel disjointed against each other because he's not directing them, he's directing the movie. I think M. Night tries to do both, but isn't very successful at either.

Patrick: All of this trouble just to see Alex Wolff. We could've just watched Jumanji for that! Was it at least worth seeing him?

Taylor: I hope he gets a $0.30 check for me watching this.

Patrick: We rented this from the video store...

Taylor: I only want what's best for him. I'm not going to blame his sub-par performances on him...we know he can be good. He's apparently (I will never know) excellent in Hereditary. I think he has it in him, but not in this. Speaking of performances, let's highlight some good ones...okay, moving on!

Patrick: Stop it! I think everyone is doing exactly what they were asked to do. These actors are really fun in other things! Thomasin McKenzie did Last Night in Soho the same year! Ken Leung only seems to be in good movies! Nikki Amuka-Bird is one of many great performances in M. Night's next film, Knock at the Cabin (which we could've watched, by the way.) Rufus Sewell is...in your favorite Christmas movie!

Taylor: No, you are correct. Can I say much about them in this? No. But it's obvious, for the reasons and examples you gave, that the common denominator can only be M. Night. There would be long sequences where it seemed like no one knew their lines and they were reading them live, for the first time on cue cards, SNL joke swap-style. What was up with that?

Patrick: The beach makes you old! Duh! Speaking of, I do have something nice to say about this movie. I'm sorry you knew the twist already, but so did I. I think it's clever! I'm not sure it's earned, but it's clever! It's fully explained and unexpected!

Taylor: Theoretically, I agree! But I don't think it was earned or executed well. There needed to be a clearer trail of breadcrumbs. Why wasn't this a mystery! Sure they all have ailments, but so do many people as they age. And why did it end with redemption? BORING! "And now... let's get back to work!" [Black Screen]. I just bumped it up half a star!

Patrick: Backseat driver, couch quarterback, laptop screenwriter? But I agree. It ends like four times. Or it should've, at least. We are posting this review the day we see Trap, his latest film and the impetus for this Summer of Shyamalan series. I was energized after The Village and Signs, but now I'm weary again. How do you feel going into it?

Taylor: I feel energized on Josh Hartnett alone! Please Josh, please please PLEASE don't let me down!

Patrick: Review coming early next week. See you then, folks.

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