The A-Listers Talk About Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)
From the couple who see a lot of movies because they have AMC A-List.
Patrick: Welcome back to The A-Listers! And welcome to Jurassic Week here at Feature Presentation! Taylor, we have now seen every Jurassic film together. Fallen Kingdom's sound mixing made you physically ill and we both agreed that Dominion was one of the worst films of 2022. Was Jurassic World Rebirth at least better than that?
Taylor: In terms of how much I enjoyed it, yes! I want to preface this all with the fact that I did, overall, enjoy it. And I'd even go so far as to say that I see how it is, in many ways, successful at achieving its Summer Blockbuster status. But boy, oh boy, do I have bones to pick!
Patrick: Just like an archeologist, pick those bones!
Taylor: I'm going to start first with the line I've been mentally workshopping all day since leaving the theatre. You ready for this heat?
Patrick: I'm not sure...
Taylor: Spoilers officially ahead! For a film that serves largely as a cautionary tale to the dangers of genetic mutation... it's interesting to then genetically engineer a film that fundamentally lacks stakes (why did we have such a large cast for essentially every principal to survive?), always takes the easy route (you can only handle so many perfect moments that are crucial to propelling the story along), and once again attempt to revive what is, dare I say, a dead franchise.
Patrick: Alright, let's take these one at a time. First, I liked the crazy, genetic reject dinosaurs! After the first film's iconic T-Rex, each entry has tried to one-up that in some way. I think the most successful one was Jurassic World's Indominus Rex just because it was "big T-Rex." I like that this one wasn't trying to be bigger and scarier, it was trying to be grosser and weirder. Dinosaurs with arms they don't need or weird shit on their face. It was different!
Taylor: I can understand that, and I'm glad that you enjoyed that aspect of the film. If there's one thing I can give them, it's that those things are WEIRD. But it feels backward engineered to me and not an authentic next step. It seems like they just sat around a room and went, "We have to have new dinosaurs, the originals aren't cool anymore!" - and this is what they came up with. I get annoyed when other films just make shit up for seemingly no reason, especially when it gives the more leeway to avoid justification, and so I can't in good conscience then defend this for doing that exact thing.
Patrick: Alright, the big cast. Yes, every principal actor survives. When you get on the boat, it's Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, and three who aren't household names and all you can think is...those three people are screwed! And you're right! And yeah, Mahershala really should've died in the end...
Taylor: I mean whatever happened to a sacrifice?
Patrick: Sacrifices used to be cool! It happened all the time in '90s movies.
Taylor: I'm not asking for much! Rupert Friend is the only one to die, and he's the bad guy! You mention those three people being screwed, but it's also worth noting that one dies before they ever get to the island where the majority of the film is set, one dies immediately upon washing ashore, and then we barely see the other one again until his death scene. Sure, you kill small characters off all the time...
Patrick: Redshirts!
Taylor: But to literally have ZERO relationship to anyone who dies, other than the villain, is really just lazy. And while I liked the big cast of characters individually, and I appreciated that it's different than previous films, sometimes it felt like there were too many people to effectively keep track of. Toward the end of the film, I'd be asking myself "Wait, where's this person?" and sometimes it'd be because they're off doing something else I'd already forgotten about, and other times it'd be because they just can't give everyone screentime very often.
Patrick: Next, you said that they always took the easy way out. I would argue that that's just a side-effect of Summer Blockbuster Syndrome, but I would love to hear what you mean.
Taylor: Well, for one, it drove me absolutely insane that they effetively showed us the father breaking his leg, hearing a loud *SNAP* followed by "I can't feel my leg!" and they would only choose to abide by that rule they set for themselves about 25% of the time. In one frame, he'd be limping and groaning, then in the next he'd be performing the most rigorous triathlon of all time. Once again making the movie devoid of stakes. But okay, let's gloss over that, and jump into straight idealism. How many times can one movie choose the route of the-thing-you-needed-miraculously-lands-next-to-you-after-narrowly-escaping-death before your eyes roll into the back of your head the rest of the film? And these things might be Summer Blockbuster Syndrome, sure, but then you get the routes that just make no sense. Like the daughter dangling off a speedboat with NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO for so long that another character can propel his villainism forward by considering saving her, and ultimately deciding not to. They couldn't edit a railing into post? I MEAN COME ON!
Patrick: Here's the thing, I hear everything you're saying but...I still had a good time! The bar for this franchise, especially after the last two, is at rock freakin' bottom. I mean they were just terrible. I'm just glad this wasn't terrible! The first one is one of my favorite movies of all time, Jurassic World is a guilty pleasure of mine, and the rest aren't very good. Seeing this in a Dolby screening (even with the crying child complete with parents pretending they don't know the kid by scrolling on their phones for two hours) with some people who were really into it (people with lives who don't lay awake at night asking themselves what went wrong with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) just makes it one of the better Jurassic movies. I'll watch another one!
Taylor: And the crazy part is... I don't disagree with you! In between moments where my mouth was physically agape at the choices made, I was in it. I jumped! I was happy when the bad guy died! I was relieved when the family would reunite and survive a close call (though the novelty perhaps wore off a bit by the 28th time...)! At the end of the day, I can hold my hands up and say this is more of a me problem. I'm just a snob!
Patrick: The Jurassic franchise will never die. Just like life, it, uh, finds a way.
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