Review: The Mean One (2022)
Last year's Christmas horror flick hits VOD, DVD, and Blu-ray today.
Last December, in Regal Cinemas all around the country, came an indie horror film - low-budgeted, but hungry With a concept so crazy, you can't help but smirk, tt's a twisted new tale of the infamous Christmas jerk No, we can't call him that word that rhymes with "inch," but he's scary and he's green - The Mean One will do in a pinch Unlike one Winnie the Pooh, this guy's not public domain, so we have to dance around the plot, the setting, the characters, and his name Cindy You-Know-Who is grown up and comes home all these years later to face her childhood demons. Well, it’s really just one Christmas hater He's meaner than ever in this gross X-mas flick. He does more than steal presents, it's really quite sick He likes to maim and kill in this silly horror parody. This isn't your mother's Grinch and it sure ain't Jim Carrey He still slithers and slinks with a sour disposition, but there's nothing family-friendly in this gory rendition It's more like Die Hard, or maybe Home Alone. It's horror with an action climax, not a Dr. Seuss clone Director Steven LaMorte has made a nice little feature, if you can get past the gross green creature He's played by David Howard Thornton of Terrifier fame. You know his performances even if you don’t know his name Under all that makeup and those Grinchy hairy fingies, he gives a performance that’ll give you the tinglies He grunts like a dog and growls like a bear. And if looks could kill, he'd take you out with a stare
The makeup is freaky on a clearly low budget. They never take the easy way out, they never ever fudge it That's really quite true. of the whole darn thing They never let money Stop from taking a big swing From kooky performances to big crazy kills, nothing will stop them, not even a few extra bills Cindy is played by Krystle Martin and to face the big scary Grinch, she won't be outsmarted She's fun to follow and fun to root for - She'll take him down with guns and with shear brute force You see, the Mean One isn't the only one who gets to kill. Yes, it's scary horror, but it's also good for a thrill You must understand this ain't no Charlie Brown, but you can't expect that from Art the Clown You need to go in knowing what you'll get, this isn't a symphony orchestra, it's a string-quartet But they won't let it stop them in their mission to entertain, it's a pretty good time if you can handle the inhumane Watch it hoping and wishing you'll have a fun time - and you will! (Oh, and please excuse this review in rhyme) It drops today on demand, DVD and Blu, Not just for Christmas - it works for Halloween too!