Haiku Reviews #2

Short film reviews for movies new and old.

I watch a lot of movies. I write about many of them — I don’t write about many others. Many do not warrant a full essay, but I still, of course, have my opinions. Here are some “haiku reviews” — short musings with a twist — for movies, both new and old, that I watched recently.

Sony Pictures

Moneyball (2011)

Nobody eats like

Brad, easily one of the

best baseball movies

Warner Bros.

Collateral Damage (2002)

Arnold makes total

crap watchable, it’s movie

star power at work

Dreamworks

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)

Little me is so

happy, they adapted the

books quite perfectly

Universal Pictures

Candyman (2021)

Yes! Please keep putting

Colman Domingo in more

movies, he’s awesome!

Janus Films

Street of Shame (1956)

Well crafted vignettes

strung together to form a

narrative with spice

Buena Vista Pictures

Armageddon (1998)

Few disaster flicks

Lose all of the fun when the

disaster kicks off

Warner Bros.

Assassins (1995)

Show is stolen by

Antonio Banderas

and Julianne Moore

Universal Pictures

Wanderlust (2012)

A multi-million

Comedy from the early teens?

I’m gonna like it

Paramount Pictures

Friday the 13th Part II (1981)

This season’s Total

Drama Island really got

darker than ever

Universal Pictures

Midnight Run (1988)

De Niro pairs with

Grodin for chemistry that’s

all time list-topping

Warner Bros.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Stop trying to make

Suicide Squad and just make a

Weasel movie, please!