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Haiku Reviews #1

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Haiku Reviews #1

Short film reviews for movies new and old.

Patrick Regal
Mar 12, 2021
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Haiku Reviews #1

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I watch a lot of movies. I write about many of them, I don’t write about many others. Most do not warrant a full essay, but I still, of course, have my opinions. I figured that writing short musings would be a good way to get my thoughts out quickly and efficiently. Consequently, here are some “haiku reviews” for movies, both new and old, that I watched recently.

Warner Bros.

The Way Back (2020)

This director has

made the best sports movies of

the past twenty years

Focus Features

Harriet (2019)

How did they do it?

Make Harriet Tubman so

boring and so bland

AFI

Eraserhead (1977)

Lynch fans always like

“Nolan fanboys are the worst”

If only they knew

A24

Minari (2020)

My grandma baked treats

So I never felt the need

To serve her my piss

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Enemy of the State (1998)

There’s a scene in this

It takes place right outside my

apartment, how cool!

Columbia Pictures

Boyz n the Hood (1991)

Singleton’s debut

blew the world away at the

age of twenty three

Warner Bros.

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

We pay for police

Don’t forget, they work for us

See this movie now

Columbia Pictures

Misery (1990)

Caan and Bates make this

Arguably the best King

film adaptation

STX Entertainment

The Mauritanian (2021)

I wish Shailene did

more and Cumberbatch did less

Southern accents, please!

Universal Pictures

Dune (1984)

I can’t tell if it’s

Nothing but exposition

Or has none at all

Universal Pictures

Straight Outta Compton (2015)

I really wish we

had a Snoop Dogg spinoff with

Lakeith. Make it now!

Paramount

The Stand (2020–21)

It’s not like the source

Material for this show

Guaranteed a hit

Paramount

Coming to America (1988)

A stone cold classic

Eddie at his very best

And Arsenio!

Coming 2 America (2021)

Everyone in this

Has aged appropriately

Except for Eddie

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Haiku Reviews #1

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